Thursday, December 10, 2009

Dont

explain things
I understand.
bother to detail
I know.
trouble yourself
I am convinced.
think twice to hurt
I ll be happy.

But,
Dont walk over me
And tell me I was for granted.
For all you know,
IT might have been killed.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Adieu!!

Miss you baby! Certainly. People called it foolishness to hang on to you any further. Baby, I had no choice. Ever since I saved you from the last accident, I was counting my days with you. I knew the happiness has begun to end. And one day you refused to respond. You put yourself on the death bed. I tried my best to make you stay. In life. With me. I wanted to put you back in pink of your health. It wouldnt have costed me much. Neither was I worried about the insult people would pour upon me if I clinged on to you. All I was worried was...can I survive? There would definitely be a day when you would refuse to respond. Like you did.Can I survive then? Reason. Thats all I wanted. Reason to leave you. I was searching. And you gave me enough. Just enough. Or I thought so.

You have no idea how much I wanted you to stay. I tried in vain to get a close substitute. And failed miserably. How stupid I was to even hope that there would be a substitute.I have your song ringing in my head. In full cognizance, I let it ring. Thats all that gives me peace these days. Your memory.

But baby, the new acquaintance, I must tell you, is way superior to you. There is so much to be explored and learnt except that I have no incentive. There are so many qualities that I have never found in you. More than what I ever asked for. I admit. Of what use is superiority when comfort doesnt trot along, honey? I admit. I am not comfortable. Indifference, I cant attain. I have to live alongside, day in-day out. Diplomacy, I am not good at.

Heard a wise person say, "You never miss anyone you haven't lost." Baby, tell me honestly, have I lost you? If not, why do I miss you? Is it your absence or the new presence thats troubling the most?

P.S: I have disowned you. There is nothing much we can do now apart from the obituary. I would also do my blog the honour of posting your pic here. Soon.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Quarter life!

Met a man who turned 70 today, at the temple."This old age, I must say, is a curse. Especially with the knee joint pains!". He mentioned it is his birthday and that is why he is in temple and we exchanged "Happy birthday!".It was very difficult for him to stand and was requesting the pujari for a chair which he neatly ignored. We got him a chair and he sat down. And then he went on to talk about his family, children, his profession, their profession etc. 2 minutes later he started talking about his wife. I thought I was imagining, but I could see a thin layer of tears well up in his eyes behind those black carbon rimmed glasses, as he spoke . And then I heard his voice break. He wept. Said, "My wife passed away 10 yrs ago. 20 days before my daughter's wedding.Massive heart attack. Now my daughter has left for Dubai. I come here to pray." :). Yet again...

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I really need to make some acknowledgements today. Not because I have stepped into 25th year of my life, but because of a certain achievement. I am not sure how big it is or what good it is going to do to me. But, I just feel like doing this.For all I know, I may not ever get another chance.

Amma, Nanna and Annayya for being what they are. I might have gotten into hundreds of arguments and might have heavily disagreed. Still, I am not what I am without them.

Saradamma..for being my mom for a substantial portion of my formative years. No matter what, I would never forget all the trouble I gave you during my early years, crying and crying over my painful ear and nose! Love you lots!

Sai...for all the patience,respect and trust.

Divya, Manju and Srikanth for all their support, especially emotional, during every single crisis.For all the time I have been given. For all the love. For all the unconditional friendship.

Keechu alias Niharika Aunty and Muzzu alias Ali for their conviction and commitment in converting the calls.

Krishna, Avi and Shiva for all the confidence they instilled in me.

Deepthi, Venkat, Varun and Aslesha for adding so much fun and color to my life.

Priyanka, for being a very very honest and down-to-earth human being.

Revathi Ma'am, Sr. Regi, VVS, Mrs.Venki, Mrs. Esther Isabel, Sr.Jessy Kurian,Gopala Krishna Sir and likes for believing in me and my potential to reach heights in my career.Thanks to all for treating all my success in a tone of normalcy saying,'Doesnt surprise me.You have it in you!'
(I have no idea what 'it' is!Needless to say, words are all they have!)

Mr. Sivakishan for his outstanding guidance all through undergrad and beyond that.

Leo, Janet, Magesh and Geetha for making my life so much more simpler in an otherwise alien 'software' world.

I would like to write 'Snoopy' on the blog.Just like that. :)

Thursday, November 12, 2009

How?

Refusal to learn is the worst ailment anybody can suffer from. Period.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Sleeplessness

I dont know why we have complicated meanings for simple words.Sleeplessness is fine,isnt it?Why should it be again called Insomnia?
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Kaise Bataaye Kyun Tujhko Chaahe...
Yaara Bataa na Paaye..
Baatein Dilon ki Dekho Jo
Baaki Aankhen Tujhe Samjhaaye...
Tu Jaane Na...Tu Jaane Na...

Hooked up to this one,all night!
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Havent done one productive piece of work for more than a week now. Unable to write. Talk. And...
Gotta sleep..hope the post on new travel blog comes out soon..
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Sunday, October 04, 2009

Puppy Inc.

 


Sketch in charcoal.By Ms.Gupta.

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If only...
There was a clock
That ticked
Not at hours minutes or seconds
But at people words and thoughts
And taught me sense
Not of time but of taut
Not of fun but of humor
Not of chance but of choice
Not of endurance but of denial
Not of heart but of mind

Oh how I wish I had one...

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Friday, August 21, 2009

Aberration.

I wish I could paint it. It was a giant wheel that I felt was really giant and highest point was really really high.So high that I could see blue expanse of all the waters of the world.I was overwhelmed with happiness.The wheel was taking me high and low and I could feel that scary surge each time within me.I was feeling on the top of the world.There were large bridges like the one at Melbourne, like the one over Thames, like the ones all over the US of A.I think I almost touched cloud 9.The happiness was so profound that I could hear myself laughing and screaming.And from the freedom of skies,descended a drop into the abysmal waters. And there was no ripple.

Hence dreamt.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Art

Lotsa similar art here . Beautiful.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Did u try??



I quite like that!! :D

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Hmm...



Self observation: I am not graceful with parting scenes.Got clumsy. Is that ok? Normal?
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Days are flying. And I have drifted towards living longer days and even longer nights.No. I am not interested in the amusements/sarcasms/suprises of any of the owls out there.By the way, how many hours maketh a day?
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Weekend has been kind and exciting. I go to 'Kalarpana' and find everyone at the gate trying to call a lil pom in. Then a lady in pink and white salwar with her hair tied up in a bun calls and comes running saying "Ennaaaichu??" in a very typical tamilian accent.As I turn my head to get a glance of her face, the pom goes in and the lady as well. Then I go inside only to see Shobana 'akka' dancing!!I have heard and read about simplicity. But here I again write...she is absolutely a personification of what can be precisely called simplicity.I dont want to talk about the school or the school building. Will get enough pics over the weekend.And yes. Finally, something is happening and yet again...I love Chennai!!See...for more than one reasons!!
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Arts club materialising. Will take two more meetings,I guess.
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Thursday, July 30, 2009

Lost...

Couldnt make it to the placement committee.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Emotional/Nostalgic weekend


Posessions that had once adorned the walls of my room. Well, I no longer have any room that I can call 'mine'. Was disposing bundles of these just coz I did not feel emotionally connected anymore. Of course,some survived this mass destruction of memories or rather things that I have preserved for more than 7 years now.There were faceless names,nameless cards and then there were words written in every form, on every card that failed to fill my eyes with those happy tears, that failed to,even remotely,connect with the emotion that I must have possibly felt when I first held them in my hands and that failed to stand the test of time.All I was doing was open,see,decide and then pile the respective heaps.Mechanically.And those that survived, would have survived anyway!!
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Weddings of best friends are really tricky. Suddenly there is a whole lot of family around her and makes you feel little and unimportant. There I go and the photographer says,"Randi Madam! Atleast meerosthe aina navvutharemo ee madam!" and then I stand right in front of her only to see the sense of relief on her face,the happiness that my presence gave her in her eyes and most of all,the hug that indicates the magnitude of disappointment I have saved her from!Happy married life!! To someone who has taught me cooking,grooming and most of all...caring!!
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Some people are so genuine. Nature's law prevents them from being around me for a longer time and grants them something called a VISA to the U S of A.Damn!!And then they fly..like they did the day before.Good luck gal!To someone who shares my career aspirations!
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Not fair.Subjecting an already confused,emotionally weak heart and soul to further tortures of bading good byes and bon voyages within a span of two days is just not fair. Objection adhyakshya!!:)

Friday, July 24, 2009

Like this...


Like the minds that wander
Like the eyes that blink
Like the thoughts that touch
Like the dreams that split
Like the winds that reach
Like the skies and the stars we share
May these drops that fell together
From the Heavens....
Teach me a thing or two
About life, love and death too...
Leave me wondering what would I do..
If only I had those last moments and of course few..

Pic courtesy: A forwarded mail.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

After a week...frm the breathless B-school!!

It feels lil weird to call the college a B-school given that the size is no larger than that of a large bungalow (and yes,it was donated by the Kothari's)! Pata nai kitne log the Kothari family mein and why on earth they needed this large a house!!And by the way,it is supposedly conducive for learning!!The hostel is great. When I say great, I bear in mind the worser parts of Chennai I have lived in. The food is good. Yet again, its just relativity.The dining area is by far, the best place in the college!! Its a soothingly ethnic area with a tiled roof and lotsa trees around and of course lotsa handsome guys around!!The entire environment is just absolutely optimal. I get just enough and as soon as I think of any discomfort, my purpose here clearly reminds me that I am supposedly a potential manager and every next assumption follows. Waise bhi...with a laptop(new,yet again a DELL) and Wi-Fi, how can I even allow myself to think of any discomfort?!

I couldnt have felt more belittled and couldnt have spent a more demoralising week!!Just started multitasking (way to go..i know)!! Just celebrated the 1st birthday of the batch. Working on accountancy assignment while posting this. Trust me. Understanding the language of business...u see!! =P Happy part of attending classes after a long long break is that the laptops are allowed and wi-fi works 24*7. Now it cant better for people who had been used to sneaking novels since ages!!

Things to feel nice about:
"Yaar tum itni achi hindi kaise bol sakthe hon?"--All thanks to Bollywood and of course Hyderabad!!
"Enna?Ninga Tamilian daa ne?"--All thanks to Cognizant!(And yeah! I miss my workplace..now and then!:( For an entirely different set of reasons, though!=P)
And roomies. Bengali,Marathi(born and brought up in Bangalore,though) and a Bihari. Couldnt have fallen into a more complicated combination. Phir bhi...we have been laughing madly for the past one hour!!

Movie that could grab my time: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
Asli masti tho Monday se shuru honewala hain!! All the clubs and committes' elections and interviews will be done by Monday and then starts the race!!

Will try to post as frequently as possible.=P

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Way 2 go!

Months of mad work. Weeks of desperation. Then came pieces of good news from here and there. Funniest of all: IMT, Dubai. There was a day when I envied people who could afford BITS, Dubai. For ‘n’ reasons, this news did not seem exciting at all. All that was secondary. I still had all privilege of imagining life in Dubai. But then, I have heard myself asking....’Bomb blast lo pothey? Indian Hindu meeda attack…?? ‘ . It’s not that these factors are really stopping me from taking it up. Just that I was little struck by the immediate thoughts that have become so inevitable or that are so seemingly ‘natural’!! Wish people in parts of the globe could sleep more peacefully each night.
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My brother often said, ‘If you think the only possible results are ‘pass’ and ‘fail’, you are missing something called ‘result withheld’!’. Had a good taste of this. ‘Waiting list’. What a thing it was!! Got all my patience extracted and tested! :)
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Taking up MBA in an Indian college. OK. In Chennai. “What? Again? What’s wrong with you??” I smile to myself. What is so wrong with me??I like this place. For all the freedom, fun and life it has offered. I like it. For it has so much to explore and offers scope to explore comfortably at cheaper cost. The transport system is amazing. The city is so well connected that I actually started realizing how inferior Hyderabad is when it comes to traffic or alternate routes. Who said Chennai is all about Idli and Sambar? I can show you ‘n’ paratha points and authentic Punjabi Dhabas that provide real yummy food!! I don’t very much approve of the attitude of the natives towards the language or the way they make life miserable for outsiders. Or the autowallahs who charge fortune for distances that span from Prasad’s to Eat Street. So what if they have fervor towards their language?? I would make my life simpler by trying to learn and understand their language. If I don’t, there is not much difference left and I don’t deserve a right to argue. Do I? The next time you have questions about Chennai, come to me. I can teach you how to live here and watch Tamil movies! ;)
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Working with tickets and resolutions crap even after a much-awaited resignation.
My track on the day of resignation…
‘Ennallo vechina udayammmmmmm
Eenaadeyyyy edurauthntey..
Inkaaa telavarademiii…ee cheekati vidipodemi…(2)’
If you are aware of this track with Mr. Kittigadu walking the roads singing this…I am sure you would have a good laugh!!
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Villages make great weekend getaways. Sad that the villagers themselves didn’t know this. Worse that they wait for the people from cities to come and explore for them. God has His mysterious ways of taking people from one VILLAGE to another!! LOL!!
Alvida. Will be back with a fresh back-to-college post!
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Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Cut the crap!!

I found myself saying this to someone who was/is feeling 'Lonely'.
"Get rid of it. It will only cripple you. Be strong".

Zapak..a door opens inside my head and someone is eager now.
"Look who is talking about strength!!Did you ever manage it urself??By the way...what is the strength you are preaching about??The one which had never come to your rescue??The one which aggravates in the name of ego??Or the one which is always misinterpreted??Or the one that never lends enough confidence??Or the one that, ironically, wants you to succumb in the very name of itself??Which one..I am curious!!"

And I said..."Cut the crap.Bus leaves at 8:15"

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Step 2:

Have turned into an insomniac.For more than a few weeks now.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Masakali..the freedom..the dove and Sonam Kapoor!!

Tujhe kya gum tera ristha
Gagan ki basuri se hai
Pawan ki guftagu se hai
Suraj ki roshani se hai

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Who s tat??

 


How long has it been since any of us have slept in that and felt like a princess??
Nowadays..I do!!=)
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